Untitled (or The Story of a Man)

I had begun writing this story a while back, along with a pretty skeletal outline, and then misplaced my notebook. I had forgotten all about it until I found the notebook by accident today. I’m considering continuing it. What do you think?


The Story of a Man

To give you even the slightest insight on Leo Stone, I must provide you with tiny glimpses of private truths from his life as I’ve experienced it. Continue reading

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“Harry, there is never is perfect answer in this messy, emotional world. Perfection is beyond the reach of humankind, beyond the reach of magic. In every shining moment of happiness is that drop of poison: the knowledge that pain will come again. Be honest to those you love, show your pain. To suffer is as human as to breathe.”

-Dumbledore

(From Harry Potter and the Cursed Child by J.K. Rowling)

Continue reading

Filth of the World

Young minds too innocent to grasp the fear

the anger

the absolute filth of the world

around them.

Limp limbs

lying cold and airless

too empty to grasp the fear

the anger

the absolute filth of the world

around them.

Ruled by hatred and starvation of power

in the name of a deity unknown

unavailable

nonexistent

we spill tears and blood.

We have all become too empty to grasp the fear

the anger

the absolute filth of the world

around us.


Terrifying Comfort

It’s terrifyingly comforting how the music from an ice cream truck can sound so haunting on a humid Summer day when all else is silent but my racing mind.

-MB


Slow As Honey

Everything slows down in the silence and

makes me feel like I should be moving, doing, working.

So I tell myself, yet again, that this is my time to rest,

to stop, to breathe.

And just when I’ve convinced myself that it’s okay to not

do anything more than breathe

I’ve already begun working again.

While my mind is distracted, my body moves and works

harder than ever before.

I know not how to slow down.

I know not how to

just breathe…


Again Because

I told someone recently that I didn’t want to fall in love or have a committed relationship because I had already done that. She told me it was a lifetime ago and that it was time to try again. It is in this moment I felt most misunderstood.

I don’t want to fall in love again because I know that no other love could ever compare to our epic failure of a love story.

I don’t want to fall in love again because nobody could make me feel as much as you did, and that’s only partially due to the walls you secured into place when you left me behind.

I don’t want to fall in love again because nobody can ever give me the dysfunctional destruction that we called true love.

I don’t want to fall in love again because if I do then six years after we ended, it will finally be so true that I can’t deny or ignore it anymore.

I don’t want to fall in love again because there’s no person in this world I will allow the power I so easily and willingly offered to you.

I don’t want to fall in love again because if I do, then that will mean that I have finally fallen out of love with you, and I’m just not sure that my heart would have any other reason to beat.


It’s Like

Thinking of you is like that point in a hangover when you feel dizzy and cold and your body shakes so hard you swear you’re going to die. Crying over you is the moment of release and relief when you finally throw up all of last night’s booze. Promising to never love you again is the equivalent of promising to never having another sip of alcohol for as long as you live. It’s a lie, all of it.

And for as long as you are in my past, I will never be okay.